Coming Out
"Thus says the Lord: In a time of favor I have answered you, on a day of salvation I have helped you ... saying to the prisoners, 'Come out,' to those who are in darkness, 'Show yourselves.'" Isaiah 49:8-9. (NRSV)
 print Aarons Leroy Prayers for Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay Son PrayersBobby.jpg San Francisco HarperSanFrancisco 1995 288 pp. 0062511238 Bobby Griffith was an all-American boy... and he was gay. Faced with an irresolvable conflict - for both his family and his religion taught him that being gay was "wrong" - Bobby chose to take his own life. Prayers for Bobby, nominated for a 1996 Lambda Literary Award, is the story of the emotional journey that led Bobby to this tragic conclusion. But it is also the story of Bobby's mother, a fearful churchgoer who first prayed that her son would be "healed," then anguished over his suicide, and ultimately transformed herself into a national crusader for gay and lesbian youth. As told through Bobby's poignant journal entries and his mother's reminiscences, Prayers for Bobby is at once a moving personal story, a true profile in courage, and a call to arms to parents everywhere. http://www.harpercollins.com/global_scripts/product_catalog/book_xml.asp?isbn=0062511238 _blank print Boesser Sara L. Silent Lives: How High a Price? silentlivessm.jpg Lanham, MA Hamilton Books 2004 193 pp. 0761829687 This work combines autobiographical sources, personal interviews, and questions for reflection to explore issues relevant to everyone's sexual orientation and gender status, be they heterosexual, or gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or intersexual. Boesser examines the consequences a sexual minority person suffers when attempting to pass as heterosexual and/or as of a traditional gender expression. Boesser also looks at how society as a whole is affected when an individual is pressured to hide his/her sexual identity. Silent Lives is helpful for personal journaling and sharing with relatives and friends, and is also very useful as a college text, therapy supplement, or a catalyst for group discussions. Ten percent of the net proceeds from Silent Lives are donated by the author to Parents, Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG). More about Silent Lives http://www.univpress.com/Catalog/SingleBook.shtml?command=Search&db=^DB/CATALOG.db&eqSKUdata=0761829687 _blank print Bono Chastity Billie Fitzpatrick Family Outing familyouting.gif Boston Back Bay Books 1999 272 pp. 0316115967 In Family Outing Chastity, daughter of Sonny and Cher, weaves her own dramatic story into those of other gays and lesbians to illustrate the phases, pitfalls, and rewards of coming out. We hear how gays and lesbians often feel indescribably "different" when they are quite young, how they come to recognize and explore that difference in themselves and then deal, in various ways, with parents' reactions, those of friends and coworkers, and their own unearthed homophobia. Ultimately, we learn how enormously empowering the whole process can be. While Family Outing provides sensible, helpful advice to gays and lesbians who are thinking about coming out, it is also an important primer for parents. We hear parents talk about their difficult - but ultimately successful and satisfying - journey through their part of the coming-out experience. And in her own voice, Cher tells her side of Chastity's story, relating her suspicion, denial, confrontation, and eventual acceptance of her daughter's sexual orientation. For, as Chastity says, "Parents come out too." Practical, cogent, and personally revealing, Family Outing is a guide like no other, necessary for anyone who's ever been involved in any aspect of the coming-out process. http://www.twbookmark.com/books/5/0316115967/ _blank print Borhek Mary V. Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents revised BorhekCOtP.jpg Cleveland Pilgrim Press 1993 320 pp. 0829809570 http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0829809570/102-5522310-2838527?v=glance&n=283155&s=books&v=glance _blank print de la Huerta Christian Coming Out Spiritually: The Next Step comingoutspiritually.jpg New York Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam 1999 236 pp. 0-87477-966-9 ...a fresh outlook on gay spirituality and how to assert it, and thereby gives queer readers a foundation from which to begin building a spiritual life. Christian de la Huerta, the founder of Q-Spirit, synthesizes the ten spiritual roles or archetypes queer people have often assumed and continue to enact today: creator of beauty, consciousness scout, mediator, shaman, and healer among others. Drawing on these models while acting as a guide to the queer community, de la Huerta shows how to look deeper inside; to reach higher than ever before; to step forth more fully into our rightful selves. He introduces readers to many of the world's religions, including Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, Sufism, and Taoism, and investigates the teachings of these traditions and their attitudes toward homosexuality. http://www.penguinputnam.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,0_0874779669,00.html _blank print Eichberg Rob Coming Out: An Act of Love anactoflove.gif New York Plume 1991 304 pp. 0452266858 Eichberg's exercises and visualization techniques from his nationwide "Experience" workshops offer gay men and lesbians the knowledge, support, strength and understanding to fully accept their homosexuality. http://www.penguinputnam.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,0_0452266858,00.html _blank print Glaser Chris Coming Out As Sacrament comingoutsacrament.jpg Louisville Westminster John Knox Press 1998 153 pp. 0-664-25748-8 Gay Christian author and activist Chris Glaser believes that sexual minorities, often denied their churches' traditional sacraments, have found unique access to the sacred in their lives; coming out of the closet. Glaser persuasively argues that coming out - as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered - has biblical precedence and sacramental dimensions. Using personal and biblical illustrations, he discusses coming out as an act of vulnerability, much like a sacrificial offering of ancient times, that invokes God's presence and effects atonement, or reconciliation. In this engaging book he shows how coming out, like other sacraments, may serve as a means of grace-that is, an experience of God's unconditional love. In the final chapter, Glaser proposes seven new "rites for the soul," including a ritual for coming out. https://www.ppcbooks.com/Details.asp?BookID=0664257488 _blank print Griffin Horace L. Their Own Receive Them Not: African American Lesbians & Gays in Black Churches theirown.jpg Cleveland The Pilgrim Press 2006 240 pp. 9780829815993 Griffin provides a historical overview and critical analysis of the black church and its current engagement with lesbian and gay Christians, and shares ways in which black churches can learn to reach out and confront all types of oppression – not just race – in order to do the work of the black community. http://www.rlpgbooks.com/Catalog/SingleBook.shtml?command=Search&db=^DB/CATALOG.db&eqSKUdata=1578862671 _blank print Jennings Kevin editor One Teacher in Ten: Gay and Lesbian Educators Tell Their Stories 2nd 1teacherin10.gif Boston Alyson Publications 2005 288 pp. 1555838693 From the director of the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network (GLSEN) comes a new collection of accounts by openly gay and lesbian teachers who tell about their struggles and victories as they have put their own careers on the line to fight for justice. http://www.amazon.com/One-Teacher-10-Kevin-Jennings/dp/1555838693/ref=sr_1_3/104-3423599-9370336?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1187304022&sr=1-3 _blank print Kaufman Gershen Lev Raphael Coming Out of Shame: Transforming Gay and Lesbian Lives KaufmanCOOS.jpg New York Main Street Books 1997 304 pp. 0-385-47796-1 Basing their approach in the psychology of Silvan S. Tomkins, who believed humans are governed by emotions rather than, as Freud averred, sexuality and aggression, Kaufman and Raphael explain how one emotion--shame--affects, overwhelmingly negatively, the lives of homosexuals and what gay individuals and couples can do to transcend shame's ill effects. They neatly dovetail theory, illustrative anecdotes, and prescriptive advice as they exhaustively survey the almost innumerable ways in which shame undermines personal security, happiness, and mental health. If it sometimes seems that the methods they relay for transforming shame into pride are inadequate to the battle with shame they see gays as doomed to fight and refight, at least they themselves, as a couple who have overcome shame in many contexts, can cite their own experiences to argue that specific victories are possible. A singularly intelligent example of the psychological self-help genre. - Ray Olson http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780385477963 _blank print Marcus Eric What If Someone I Know Is Gay?: Answers to Questions About Gay and Lesbian People New York Price Stern Sloan/Putnam Books for Young Readers 2000 138 pp. 0843176113 Written for teenagers with answers to their honest questions, in down-to-earth language. This may be a first look for young people, especially if "someone I know" turns out to be myself! http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0843176113/102-5522310-2838527?v=glance&n=283155&s=books&v=glance _blank print O'Neill Craig Kathleen Ritter Coming Out Within: Stages of Spiritual Awakening for Lesbians & Gay Men comingoutwithin.jpg San Francisco HarperSanFrancisco 1992 256 pp. 0062507060 http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0062507060/qid=1134071330/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-2047862-5702422?s=books&v=glance&n=283155 _blank print Signorile Michelangelo Outing Yourself: How to Come Out as Lesbian or Gay to Your Family, Friends, and Coworkers MSOutingY.jpg Fireside Books 1996 208 pp. 0684826178 Out magazine columnist Signorile presents a 14-step program for gays and lesbians seeking to come to terms with their sexuality. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0684826178/102-5522310-2838527?v=glance&n=283155&s=books&v=glance _blank print Sundby E. T. Calling the Rainbow Nation Home: A Story of Acceptance and Affirmation rainbownation.jpg Lincoln, Nebraska iUniverse, Inc 2005 216 pp. 0595336299 Calling the Rainbow Nation Home profiles one woman's spiritual journey to acceptance and affirmation and helps gay Christians around the world find strength and assurance in their own spiritual pilgrimages. The book is a mixture of personal journey and Biblical study, dealing of the key issues gay and lesbian Christians face when coming to terms with their sexual orientation. Issues such as; am I saved (salvation), is homosexuality a sin, and should I be celibate, are explored. The book includes a simple to read, but in-depth review of the "clobber" passages some use against homosexuals. In addition, the role the Holy Spirit played in this journey of truth and discovery are discussed thoroughly. The book finishes by looking at the similarity between what the Gentiles faced 2,000 years ago and what gays and lesbians are going through today. The book is easy to read using stories and personal experiences to illustrate important ideas. Every point is solidly backed and supported by Scripture. http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?isbn=0-595-33629-9 _blank print Thorson-Smith Sylvia Johanna Van Wijk-Bos, Norm Pott, and William P. Thompson editors Called Out With: Stories of Solidarity calledoutwith.jpg Louisville Westminster John Knox Press 1997 166 pp. 0664257194 Inspiring stories of how twenty-seven Presbyterians decided to stand for the inclusion of sexual minorities in the church. Each person's story is a testament to the struggle to live out personal faith in a public world. https://www.ppcbooks.com/Details.asp?BookID=0664257194 _blank print Tigert Leanne McCall Coming Out Through Fire comingoutthrufire.jpg Cleveland United Church Press 1999 148 pp. 0-8298-1293-8 Coming Out Through Fire is for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender persons who seek to move through the trauma of homophobia with the passion and power of transformation. It is also for pastors, therapists, and other helping professionals who seek to confront prejudice and fear and to further the process of healing and recovery in the church and wider community. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0829812938/102-5522310-2838527?v=glance&n=283155&s=books&v=glance _blank print Tigert Leanne McCall editors Coming Out While Staying In: Struggles and Celebrations of Lesbians, Gays, and Bisexuals in the Church comingoutstayingin.jpg Cleveland United Church Press 1996 178 pp. 0-8298-1150-8 Coming Out While Staying In reflects the author's personal struggle with the church as the source of pain and alienation-as well as support and spiritual renewal. Leanne Tigert plumbs the depths of social and psychological dynamics within the local church to identify the systems that perpetuate this tension, then develops a theology of liberation with the power to transform congregations into communities of justice. Tigert takes seriously the homophobia evident within the church today, and provides a voice of hope for those who experience oppression as gay, lesbian, and bisexual Christians. Through candid stories of her own and others' struggles with the doctrines of mainline denominations and their stance on the issue of sexuality, the author hopes to open the door to change, healing, and liberation for homosexuals and bisexuals, as well as heterosexuals. Study questions are provided to stimulate individual reflection and group discussion. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0829811508/102-5522310-2838527?v=glance&n=283155&s=books&v=glance _blank print Tigert Leanne McCall Timothy Brown editors Coming Out Young and Faithful comingoutyoung.jpg Cleveland Pilgrim Press 2001 148pp. 0829814140 Winner of the 2003 Mayflower Award for Church and Society. This groundbreaking collection comes from gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning teens whose stories describe their church experiences. "One morning, while walking through the living room, I noticed a magazine laying on top of the coffee table. The lead article was printed in bold across the cover - "Coming to Terms with My Lesbian Daughter: A Mother's Story." I was struck frozen, unable to move or breathe, afraid Alice or her grandmother would march out of the kitchen to catch me in my fascination, shame, and secret. Then my life would be ruined forever. Quickly and quietly, I tiptoed over to the table, picked up the magazine, rolled it up under my shirt, and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind me. Trying to breathe normally, I sat down on the edge of the tub and opened the magazine. Hearing my own heart pound out loud I first skimmed it, and then slowly and carefully digested every single word. I sneaked the magazine upstairs and into my suitcase. I went back home a transformed person." - Leanne, 13, with her best friend Alice, when they visited her grandmother http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0829814140/102-5522310-2838527?v=glance&n=283155&s=books&v=glance _blank online Knox Harry editors 1 Thessalonians 1:1-10 By Harry Knox - Given at Chicago Theological Seminary, Chicago, IL, October 12, 2005 Harry_Knox_10122005.pdf _blank online Knox Harry Coming Out Day Sermon Given by Harry Knox at Cross Creek Community Church of Dayton, OH, October 15, 2006 knoxsermon.htm _self online Wilkins Rev. Tara editors In Whose Hands - A Coming Out Day sermon Given by Rev. Tara Wilkins at Ainsworth United Church of Christ of Portland, OR, October 8, 2006 wilkins10082006.pdf _blank online editors Human Rights Campaign Coming Out Project hrccomingoutproject.jpg http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out&Template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=27259 _blank online editors Human Rights Campaign's Guide to Conversations about GLBT Issues Need help talking about GLBT issues? Coming out as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and straight allies each day means having conversations with family, friends, coworkers and acquaintances almost every day. Do you know what to say if a coworker says, "I don't see why gay marriage is such a big deal. Can't same-sex couples get the same benefits through civil unions?" The Human Rights Campaign has a fun, interactive online guide to keep the conversation going. This new resource literally walks you through conversations about important issues impacting GLBT Americans and their families. http://anon.newmediamill.speedera.net/anon.newmediamill/tom/conversation/index.html _blank online editors Resource Guide to Coming Out for African Americans comingoutafricamer.gif People of color may face unique challenges when they come out as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. To address these issues, the Human Rights Campaign's National Coming Out Project has developed a new resource on coming out in the African-American community. This will be followed by coming out for Latinos and Latinas and coming out for Asian Americans. http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=African_Americans&Template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=17570 _blank online editors Can't Turn Around Developed by the Religion and Faith Program of the Human Rights Campaign, these are imaginative and scripturally-grounded Coming Out Rituals from the Christian tradition by Dr. Scott Haldeman. These rituals take seriously the religious and spiritual grace we give to ourselves, our families and our friends when we live full and authentic lives. http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Content_Management&Template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=34149 _blank multimedia editors Coming Out, Coming Home Minneapolis Spirit of the Lakes UCC 1996 61 minutes Spirit of the Lakes United Church of Christ in Minneapolis, MN made history in 1991 when it became the first predominantly GLBT congregation to be welcomed into a mainline Christian denomination. Coming Out, Coming Home is a one-hour video drama comprised of personal stories of people who attend Spirit of the Lakes. A combination of humor, heart, and spirit, the video is an outreach vehicle intended to help churches, colleges and other organizations learn more about the experiences of lesbian, gay and bisexual people. A series of letters between a mother and her gay son provides the framework and underscores a universal and very human struggle for belonging and family. Available from: Spirit of the Lakes UCC, 2930 13th Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN 55407. VHS _blank multimedia Wildacres Leadership Initiative Coming Out, Coming In: Faith, Identity, and Belonging comingoutcomingin.jpg Carrboro, NC MINNOW MEDIA LLC 30 min. This 30-minute documentary gives voice to gay and lesbian Christians in North Carolina and aims to reframe the current contentious debate on homosexuality in our churches. Underneath the biblical debates and theological disputes lie distrust, even hatred among parties. This program seeks to replace the bitter rhetoric with respectful and open dialogue. DVD http://www.coming-out-coming-in.net/ _blank print Curoe Carol Robert Curoe editors Are There Closets in Heaven?: A Catholic Father and Lesbian Daughter Share Their Story arethereclosets.jpg Minneapolis, MN Syren Book Company 2007 196 pp. 978-0-929636-79-5 It’s always difficult for a child to tell her parents she is gay, regardless of how liberal or conservative her family might be. When the daughter is part of a devout Catholic family living in a small rural community, the parent-child relationship is exposed to even greater risk. Are There Closets in Heaven? is a revealing first-person dialogue between a lesbian daughter, who had always dutifully tried to please her parents, and her Catholic father, an eighty-one-year-old farmer from Iowa. Through their letters and reflections, we see how courage and love made it possible for Bob and Carol Curoe to navigate the twists and turns of such a dramatic shift in their lives. This highly personal and often emotional exchange offers a gift of hope and inspiration to families who struggle with learning their child is not what they expected – regardless of what that surprise might be. Are There Closets in Heaven? lets us experience the real lives behind debates taking place in today’s media on same-sex marriage, constitutional amendments, gays and lesbians raising children, and religion. http://www.itascabooks.com/index.cfm?page=Detail&isbn=978-0-929636-79-5 _blank multimedia Polis Schutz Susan Anyone and Everyone anyoneandeveryone.jpg Iron Zeal Films 2007 57 min.

Connected by having a son or daughter who is gay, parents across the country discuss their experiences in the documentary Anyone and Everyone. In it, filmmaker Susan Polis Schutz, depicts families from all walks of life. Individuals from such diverse backgrounds as Japanese, Bolivian, and Cherokee, as well as from various religious denominations such as Mormon, Jewish, Roman Catholic, Hindu, and Southern Baptist, share intimate accounts of how their children revealed their sexual orientation and discuss their responses. The parents also talk about struggling with the pain of their sons and daughters dealing with not being accepted by relatives or friends, and being ostracized by religious congregations. The film also depicts meetings of PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) where people get support and help.

 DVD http://www.anyoneandeveryone.com _blank